Crazy lady wanted. Apply within

I was pointed to a spin-off of a lonely hearts ad today.

It made me smile. I think that it’s fair to say that we’ve all felt like that once in a while. Mine would be slightly different. Something along the lines of “I need a sociopathic woman to string me along until I’m completely besotted, and then plunge the knife in by telling me that you thought I was actually David Tennant.

“Once you’ve completely consumed my living soul like the succubus that I hope you are, you’ll be happy to toy with my feelings by insisting on remaining in my life as a friend, leaving me unable to move on and pick up the pieces.

“If you can spare the time, I’d appreciate it if you could do any of the following:

  • Make fun of my inadequate lovemaking
  • Start a website and/or blog dedicated to how pathetic I am
  • Tell any women who may show a vague interest in me that I am gay, and have buttocks all over my body

“I hope that this can be the start of our beautiful relationship together.”

Of course, as I typed this – I couldn’t help but think of that episode of The IT Crowd, 50/50 where Moss does the internet dating thing: “I’m an arse…”